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Adore. 

It was in the middle of winter on a dark smoggy night,chills were running through the house in and out of room like a quiet ghost silently coming and silently going. Everyone else in home was sleeping, wrapped inside blanket, she was awake. She could clearly listen to the bark of the stray dogs, the noice of clock strikes her ear… Tick, tock… Tick, tock… Tick, tock. Eagerly waiting for a text message from her beloved one, she was reading the old conversation again and again, was ready to take every single blame on herself and to clear every single misunderstanding between both of ’em. In distance she heared the noice of steps, and soon it started getting louder and louder and louder untill she couldn’t hear anything but noice of steps. Suddenly, there was the sound of the opening door. Her dad entered her room. 

-”Why you not slept yet?” Her dad asked.

 ” I…. I was just about to sleep, dad!” She replied (hopelessly).

-”ok honey! Don’t use your cellphone much, good night!” Her dad closed the door and went to sleep again.  

She was the girl who loved him the most, she could have done everything for him. But for him she was just another girl. 

Out of bed, she went to the terrace…. Sitting alone there, she was shivering under fast moving cold winds. Expecting a message from someone who wasn’t even thinking about her. Her heart says to text him and solve dispute and talk to him for endless hours but her mind says no, let’s see how much he cares. 

 Her cell phone pings…. Ooh! It was his message. ” You gotta find someone else because I already did. ”, the text read. 💖 

Hold on!  I got someone. 

Once again I am lying here on my bed staring aimlessly up at the ceiling. My ears are focused on the air conditioner hum as they have been so many nights before.  The covers are pulled tightly to my throat, cloaking my body as an armor. I wonder to myself why this is all of a sudden my life. Nobody ever told me, or at least I never thought living could be so lonely, joyless, and bland. 

It seems like only yesterday that I was growing up at home, playing, smiling, and basking in the love and adoration of my family and friends. I was always laughing, joking, and enjoying every detail of life. It seems there were no bad days back then. At that point of life where no matter who you are to me if you dare to hurt me, it would probably take me couple of seconds to erase all the memories and you from my life. Which may be the best decision you will take in your whole life. 

It’s  kinda weird, when you meet someone who pretends to be good to you, when you think that you won’t make new friends of opposite gender. Talking ’em from minutes to endless hours makes you happy. At the same moment you think of stepping back because of the bad experiences. It’s hard to decide what to do when your brain isn’t working. Well, when you have experienced it before so why not one more time?  Maybe this time it’ll worth it? Okay! 

Talking on call for the first time, feels nervous at the same time most beautiful moment. It’s cute when you talk for the first time on call and you have nothing to talk about but you don’t want the conversation to be ended. So, you hang on to it and talks about all the idiotic shit. Getting close to someone is not bad, being attached to someone is not bad,what’s bad is the things take surely takes place in a relationship or friendship if you lie, which is maybe worst. 

You feel wanted for someone when they start sharing their problems with you. And honestly, special are those people for me who makes me feel that they care for me or I am important to ’em, and my presence makes ’em happy and absence makes them nostalgic. Maybe I got someone like that, a bestfriend. 

Truly, a friend who cares more than a girlfriend and makes you do right thing and help you to get on to the right path is a miracle. She is always there for me. She knows everything about me; even my secrets. I can’t keep anything from her! She is the person who will help me when I am down, turn my frown upside-down, and make me feel better about myself. I can’t imagine any better of a friend. I love her more than anything. Tomche❤️

Being hard-hearted. 

I never thought that one day I would be at this stage, where people leaving doesn’t effect you anymore. They wanna talk to you, Good. And if they don’t, Great. Sometimes, When you try to express  your problem or  feelings to someone… They call you sympathy seeker or attention seeker. And if you don’t share your problem to someone then they say you don’t trust them. Funny. 

You do 99 things for everyone and what they see is the 1 thing you didn’t do. When you are happy everyone say they are with you and when you take a decision of your own in which you find happiness but is wrong for someone then everyone is against you. The person who stands by your side when everyone is against you and listen to you and suggest you, at that time you know who truly your friend is. And that one friend will support you to the fullest and to shine brightest.

When you give importance to someone, then they are just there to show that they are with you. Your presence doesn’t matter to them. Maybe because they are happy with the one’s who are by their side or maybe with someone who is just being fake to them. They realize the importance you gave to them and your presence when it’s too late. Karma says, “What goes around, comes around”. When you relate this to your life.. Then you know that people who doesn’t cared for you and your priorities will surely come back to you and regret. And will try to prove that their intention was not to hurt you, and they were forced to do so, they ain’t got any other choice. “Aww let’s shed some tears”.  You won’t trust them again, because you know who are two-faced people. And if you still talk to the people who once broke your trust, then the thing are going to be different. They will think you won’t share their talks to anyone. But you do share it with one that person who stood by your side in your hard times. You don’t care about anyone, you don’t like making new friends, you don’t like being attached to someone again. Because attachment leads to expectations,  a synonym of disappointments. People will say you are selfish or you are changed but they won’t look at their behaviour and their words against you which forced you to do so. Everyone, even those who were once your best friend, will show their true colours. And you just let them to talk the shit behind your back… And that’s why they are behind you. 

Some people, i don’t know how, can fake the entire friendship. One moment they make you feel that you are very special to them, and on another moment they change their priorities, words, behavior, and everything towars you. I mean, if you are going to break the trust of one person so why you do such sugar-coated talks? Actually, the thing is they just want some entertainment in their life. And when you get attach to them you start being possessive,and as soon as you start talking serious they leave you. This can be another reason for you to be hard-hearted. They leave you, you cry, you beg them to not to leave you, still they do and finally you realise crying won’t bring them back to you. But because you loved ’em, you still try to talk to them and end up to talk to them as stranger. 

After all this when you stop expecting and caring it’s hard for to find a person to talk. Because they see you now as being heartless, without knowing your story they judge you.

 And you tend to be alone in darkness , but it’s good because stars only shine in darkness.