Once again I am lying here on my bed staring aimlessly up at the ceiling. My ears are focused on the air conditioner hum as they have been so many nights before. The covers are pulled tightly to my throat, cloaking my body as an armor. I wonder to myself why this is all of a sudden my life. Nobody ever told me, or at least I never thought living could be so lonely, joyless, and bland.
It seems like only yesterday that I was growing up at home, playing, smiling, and basking in the love and adoration of my family and friends. I was always laughing, joking, and enjoying every detail of life. It seems there were no bad days back then. At that point of life where no matter who you are to me if you dare to hurt me, it would probably take me couple of seconds to erase all the memories and you from my life. Which may be the best decision you will take in your whole life.
It’s kinda weird, when you meet someone who pretends to be good to you, when you think that you won’t make new friends of opposite gender. Talking ’em from minutes to endless hours makes you happy. At the same moment you think of stepping back because of the bad experiences. It’s hard to decide what to do when your brain isn’t working. Well, when you have experienced it before so why not one more time? Maybe this time it’ll worth it? Okay!
Talking on call for the first time, feels nervous at the same time most beautiful moment. It’s cute when you talk for the first time on call and you have nothing to talk about but you don’t want the conversation to be ended. So, you hang on to it and talks about all the idiotic shit. Getting close to someone is not bad, being attached to someone is not bad,what’s bad is the things take surely takes place in a relationship or friendship if you lie, which is maybe worst.
You feel wanted for someone when they start sharing their problems with you. And honestly, special are those people for me who makes me feel that they care for me or I am important to ’em, and my presence makes ’em happy and absence makes them nostalgic. Maybe I got someone like that, a bestfriend.
Truly, a friend who cares more than a girlfriend and makes you do right thing and help you to get on to the right path is a miracle. She is always there for me. She knows everything about me; even my secrets. I can’t keep anything from her! She is the person who will help me when I am down, turn my frown upside-down, and make me feel better about myself. I can’t imagine any better of a friend. I love her more than anything. Tomche❤️